i · gave · up · coffee, · and · it's · all · been · downhill · since

Pulling books out of boxes and putting them on shelves is like unexpectedly bumping into all your dearest friends at once. It's a joyful thing.

....

I assembled Ikea furniture all by myself.

You may swoon now.

What happened in the interim:

• I passed Cert II in Vet Nursing. Not without a significant amount of angst, mind you! I even get to graduate, in Sydney in August. Two years to go, now...
• I knitted three pairs of hand-warmers, and have a long waiting list for more! I wish I could knit faster, or stop working and knit all the time, but I suppose RSI would become a problem.
• I joined facebook *sigh*. There's always another internet addiction around the corner.
• The Tang's resident teenager, Zoe, decided to move out, meaning we have an opening. It will probably go to another teenager. Latest news is we may be here until April 08, so the termites haven't won yet!
• I saw some films: Shrek 3, As it is in Heaven, I Do, The Lives of Others, Ocean's 13
• I did not tidy my room. Eek!

More as I remember it....

• Remaking the bed (OK, making the bed, I never bother in the morning) before getting in at night. Somehow it makes the sliding in and sighing and shuffling and settling down that much more enjoyable and soothing.
  
• Knitting - a great tactile pleasure and a wonderful source of diversion. It seems to slow my brain down.
• Kicking a balloon around with a friend - gentle exercise, plenty entertaining and not so engrossing that you can't chat.
• Listening to/meditating on Psalms during anxious moments, e.g. on the dentist's chair. There's a Psalm for every emotion. They're ancient, heartfelt. They remind me of who I am and who my God is. If only my memory were better!
  
• Puppies, when recovering from surgery, are warm and floppy and snuggly. I like to pretend that I cuddle them for their benefit.
• Finishing a crossword.

Over & out.

Want to know why I never post here anymore? (Probably not, but if no-one's reading it doesn't matter that I'm boring!)

My new(ish) addictions:

• www.scrabulous.com
• Watching eight episodes of Alias a day (sadly, only achievable when home sick and no-one wants the X-Box)
  
• My new bunch of shy, quiet, on-their-way-to-being-crazy-for-Jesus 14 year-old girls
• Listening for how many times a day my pal Pete the cabbie texts the local radio station
• My house. My housemates. Trying to keep the house clean. Trying to teach the kids to recycle. Trying to teach our newest, 16 year-old housemate, not to leave my bathroom tap running ALL SODDING DAY. Always having someone to come home to.

I haven't forgotten you, world. I'm just a little distracted.

Wow, six weeks without posting. Thanks for the kindly nudge, Merry.

The thing is though, nothing has really changed. My assignments are overdue (well, technically they're not overdue until 5 pm, at which point they will frolic joyfully over the brink into lateness), The Tang is crazy/fun, I am vague and dishevelled.

I just managed to scrounge six days off work to join my family down the coast and to drive to Sydney and back for a wedding, and have returned more exhausted and nearly sick than when I left. My puppy class has 13 children in it and I'm running out of jelly beans. The Tang, my beautiful home, is overrun by termites and is being demolished in January.

I need a holiday.

We're in, settled, and connected! (not my computer though - it's too far away from the wireless router, but that should be remedied soon). We have a Christmas tree, two XBox 360s (boys will be ... ), kids from the church here pretty much 24-7, and it's great. I am the recycling and water usage Nazi - people are tolerating that so far.

Wednesday (home group) and Sunday (church) nights the house is flooded with people. It's quite amazing how small our 7 bedroom house can feel with 30 teenagers in it!

Must sign off now - work Christmas party starts in 20 mins and I'm still in my pyjamas.

A brief update from Mum's desk: we're in. The move went really well and The Tang is up & running. So far things are pretty good and we've only received two complaints from the neighbours. I plan to make biscuits for them. There has not been one day or night when only the housemates are there; this won't change.

My room's big and relatively comfortable (faces north-west, unfortunately). We won't have internet for about two weeks, but I discovered today that next door has an unsecured wireless network which my 'puter can pick up. Being a good and honest girl, I haven't done anything with it and plan to let the neighbours know that they could be inadvertently sharing their internet connection with half the street.

Looking forward to being back online - with ADSL 2, no less!

I want someone to explain to me why the more I pack away, the more mess there is in my flat.

I hate packing.

Aside from a brief and pleasant hiatus at day_saving_geek's birthday yum cha, I have been sorting and packing ALL DAY. I have run out of places to put paper for recycling three times over. I am dusty, dishevelled, sweaty and exhausted. As an update, almost all the walls, shelves, drawers and cupboards are clear. The one cupboard of things I'm leaving behind is packed. I put most of my winter wardrobe into one of those nifty vacuum bags and am wishing I could have packed everything that way. There are some odds and ends that defy categorisation: where, for example, do I put the pump that goes with my completely unused exercise ball? What about the little bag of assorted chargers and power sources for appliances long since broken or superseded? The cute little scarecrows that have been sitting in my desk organiser since 1998? Cushions my sister made (badly) for me some 10 years ago? There are plastic bags and dust bunnies everywhere. Five big bags of clothes and the like need to go to the Salvos tomorrow, before I decide I want any of it back. Dad has plans for my desk and shelving arrangements brewing.

I want it all to be over.

Tomorrow I'm working 7 - 2, then moving. Oh, cruel world!

Two days until The Move.

Packing is tedious and lonely, yet satisfying when the tape finally goes across the top of a box. Right now I'm sulking because I didn't get any help from the family tonight, even after asking for it - Mum & Dad were fighting, then watching a movie, and the rest of them simply forgot about me. At least I know exactly what is in each box and how it's packed, I guess. And I am rather particular about ... well, everything. But what I really wanted was some company.

I've packed all my kitchen stuff, all my non-essential bathroom stuff, and taken everything off the walls - that was weird. Once the books are gone the flat won't feel like home at all. My sister's fiance will probably move in soon after I leave - strange to think of it being someone else's space. I wonder what he thinks of my colour scheme (dark, dark purpley-grey in the bedroom (it's my cave), cream elsewhere and an avocado-green wall in the little living room); it's not too too girly. He says now I'm moving into a group house, I have to buy a Bruce Lee poster - apparently it's obligatory. I have two Audrey Hepburn posters; surely they will do?!

Tomorrow will be a big, big day. Monday will be bigger. I am already over-tired and my sinuses are playing up. I should get to bed.

*sigh* I can't hide the truth any more. There's no point in denying it.


While all my stuff was hidden away in cupboards and drawers I could pretend I had life at least vaguely under control, but opening up the hidden nooks and crannies of my study has revealed the truth most painfully. Letters, postcards, cartoons from the paper, programs, tickets, notepads, scraps of paper and cardboard, notes from uni, notes from school, old essays and assignments, film canisters, scraps of ribbon, buttons, shells, Happy Meal toys, Christmas cracker trinkets, baskets, boxes, tins, gimmicks, gadgets, poems, mementos, diaries, drawings, handouts from most of the classes, courses and training sessions I've been to, plastic bags, gift bags, laptop bags, conference bags, handbags, old wallets, padded envelopes, clothes, shoes, pebbles, and let's not even get started on all the paperwork. And the free postcards! Hundreds of them! I've been picking them up everywhere I've gone for 8 years or more, always thinking I'd put them up on the wall someday. I haven't, in case you were wondering. They're in piles and bags and drawers scattered throughout my flat and, probably, my old bedroom upstairs.

I'm trying to throw this stuff out, send it to recycling or give it away, move it on somehow, I really am, but I feel so guilty. So many unused, unwanted, un-needed possessions! So much, so much guilty paper! I am a bad human being.

Doing every quiz you can find on Blogthings isn't helping, either.

Your Dominant Intelligence is Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well. An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly. You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view. A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary. You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

Playing game upon game upon game of Solitaire is no way to deal with sad news OR succeed in your studies.

Before you all get curious: sad news is that one of the nurses I get on best with at work has resigned, effective tomorrow. As much as she phrased the resignation positively (as positively as one can, anyway), I know it's because her time with us has not been happy. A variety of situations distressing to her have been handled badly and I just feel so sad that it's come to this. It has truly been an annus horribilis for my workplace.

Things were finally beginning to settle down there, too.

I wish I could go to sleep and wake up 6 months or a year down the track, when my studies are under better control and we've sorted out our people problems at work.

Six assignments due on Friday
And I've done one
Six assignments due on Friday
And I've done one

What's the chance an asteroid
Will fall and end my fun?

Six assignments due on Friday
And I've done one!

Life's nuts and I'm exhausted.

That about sums it up.

Moving day is December the 4th. The new house has been christened "The Tang" (think that's bad? I had to talk them out of "Ya Mum's Place" *shudder*).

It's strange to be home on a Monday night. Alice, the other northside Monday Night Grouper, was sick tonight and I'm not feeling the best myself, so I stayed in.

Had a lovely, relaxing weekend with my friend Sonia down at the coast. The weather was cool and wet, but just having time & a quiet place in which to read, eat, walk & chat was really pleasant. I did quite a bit of study and more exercise than I normally would in a fortnight; Soni improved her already glowing tan while I tried to keep my stubbly, luminescent legs covered.

Geoff, Jess, Brooke, Terence, Steve & I applied for this house on Friday. We're anxiously waiting to hear from the agents, but I think our chances are good. Breaking news update: went to get the link for the house and it says RENTED, I assume by us! Woohoo! Everyone gets their own room, and G&J, Brooke & I each get a bigger bedroom with an ensuite and a walk-in or built-in wardrobe. The pantry is big enough for all of us (and the 20 or so others from church who will be in & out pretty much constantly), but we'll need to buy another full-size fridge and perhaps an extra oven/cooktop. Mum & Dad were in Sydney over the weekend and going to Ikea, so I sent them in search of bookshelves and a floor lamp - the shelves didn't eventuate (too flimsy in Dad's estimation), but the lamp is cute and I got a couple of woven storage boxes to try to declutter the floor a bit.

Just to add to the domesticity, we're drowning under a growing pile of wedding magazines here. I've got weddings firmly on the brain. I don't know how Squeak's managing to study for her final exams at all, what with the engagement party changing dates every time we turn around and all the twee stationery to sort out (transparent overlay, patterned card underneath, heart-shaped punch and stickers ... the whole shebang).

Meanwhile I have 12 assignments due by the end of the year and a face-to-face assessment coming up at some point (I assume). Plus two housesits in December (my last two, thank goodness) as well as moving house.

Help!

Last night ... ah, last night. Darren Hanlon at Tilley's. Charming company, a glass of Sepelt vintage sparkling in my hand, that comfortable Tilley's buzz. And Darren, sweet Darren. He dazzled, he delighted. He played almost all of my favourite songs. I think I may actually have swooned.

Afterwards, we talked. He seemed more positive about getting married, though it seems neither set of parents can afford to pay for the wedding, which is disappointing.  Apparently the Big (but not as Big as the famous one) Pineapple in Gympie would make a good venue for the ceremony, if we do ever raise the money. *sigh*

Back to reality today, and on five hours' sleep, too. Ouch. I will study.

I will study...

So, Squeak (my sister, 22) and Ape-Boy (her boy) got back from the coast today, and they are engaged!! He proposed yesterday on a picnic blanket scattered with rose-petals, with champagne and gourmet delights on hand and about 30 roses. She is over the moon.

Don't misinterpret my calling him Ape-Boy. We've had a difficult relationship in the past, but things are much better now and I'm very happy for them. They'll get married next summer.

It's a big weekend in our household; The Boy (my brother, 18) has finally got a job and Mum & Dad have just taken him out for his very first driving lesson. On top of that, last night I decided I will be moving in with Geoff & Jess, Brooke and potentially (if we get the huge house we have our eyes on) two other guys from church. So many changes are afoot!

Sadly, even with all the excitement in this place I still have nine assignments to do.

Back to it.

Bron, now officially a spinster.

What a week! I did my exam this morning. It was neither disastrous nor brilliant - there were about equal numbers of questions I felt confident and unsure about. At least it's over, and I can turn my attention to the six case studies (Preparation for surgery) due on the 24th of Nov and the other three case studies (Pharmacology) due back in about June. And there's no summer break - next case studies after that are due 10th Dec, then 7th January, etc. etc. Oooh 'eck!

A pleasant if not somewhat confusing distraction from the study has been Geoff, Jess & Brooke's invitation/insistence that I move in with them sometime in the next couple of months. I don't even know if I can afford it yet, but the idea is growing on me and of course I've wasted plenty of time trawling through all the real estate websites. I want this one... *sigh* A LIBRARY! Not quite in the right area though.

No rest for the wicked - off to see the psychiatrist now and then I have work all afternoon. And back to work tomorrow morning at 9. Bleugh.

I'm back!

Today after much discussion with Mum & Dad and many tears I went to see Cammie's owner with flowers and a card. We talked about what had happened and she was in general very calm and quite kind. I offered to pay $2000 as an expression of sorrow & sympathy about what had happened, but not as an admission of responsibility. She agreed and it's all settled. I'm glad we did that today; it's definitely better to have it out of the way than hanging over me. The $2000 will be an inconvenience and a drain, but it's just money. I wasn't willing to put her or me through the strain of arguing the point.

So I've survived. Wow. Thank you, God.

Went to church tonight feeling very bruised and weary. It was nice to see friendly faces. I made contact with a prayer counsellor there who I'll ask to help me work through some issues, big and small, that have arisen out of the past two weeks.

I'll finish the Tasmania trip entries in this journal - and my written one - as soon as I can. I have an exam this Friday so I guess I can use the journalling as procrastination, tehe.

P.S. Someone wung me! If you're reading this, thank you